Report: MacBook Air escapes all-Pro Jony Ive’s attempted murder

In a shocking turn of events, it has been reported that the MacBook Air survived an attempted murder at the hands of all-Pro designer Jony Ive. The renowned designer, famous for his work at Apple and his irresistible design aesthetic, was allegedly caught in the act of trying to obliterate the iconic laptop.

According to sources, Ive had been secretly harboring animosity towards the MacBook Air for years. Despite its popularity among users and critics alike, Ive reportedly despised the laptop’s design and saw it as a hindrance to his vision for Apple’s product lineup. As a result, he plotted an elaborate scheme to destroy the MacBook Air once and for all.

On the night of the attempted murder, Ive allegedly snuck into Apple’s headquarters under the cover of darkness. Armed with a sledgehammer, he made his way to the research and development lab where the MacBook Air was kept. With a determined look in his eye, Ive raised the sledgehammer high into the air and brought it down with all his might onto the unsuspecting laptop.

However, much to Ive’s surprise and dismay, the MacBook Air did not shatter into pieces as he had anticipated. Instead, it remained largely unscathed, save for a few minor dents and scratches. It seemed as though the laptop had miraculously withstood the full force of Ive’s attack, emerging victorious in the face of certain destruction.

The news of the MacBook Air’s survival has sent shockwaves through the tech industry, sparking an intense debate about the laptop’s resilience and durability. Some have hailed it as a testament to the MacBook Air’s superior construction and build quality, while others have speculated that the laptop may possess some sort of otherworldly protective powers.

In the wake of this startling revelation, Apple has yet to issue an official statement regarding the incident. However, rumors have already begun to swirl about a possible collaboration between Ive and the MacBook Air, as the designer seeks to redeem himself in the eyes of the public.

Regardless of the outcome, one thing is for certain: the MacBook Air has proven itself to be a force to be reckoned with, surviving an attempted murder by none other than the all-Pro Jony Ive himself. Its legendary status as a beloved and enduring icon in the world of technology has only been solidified by this unforgettable run-in with potential destruction.